Something To Live For
by Saffir23
Summary: The protagonist loses everything she ever loved yet still can keep hope in her heart, will that hope be a blessing or a burden? Rates and Reviews would be greatly appreciated
1. Chapter 1

I shuffled my feet against the dead, bone covered ground looking around taking in my grim surroundings. Not really letting it faze me I fold my hands behind my back and look up at the tall man next to me, he had long pure white hair, though he doesn't look old enough to have white hair, against his pale skin his brown eyes pop out greatly. I look over to his right shoulder where a big brown bag was slung over it, sticking out against his Captains robe, "I can carry my own bag, Uncle Jushiro." I say sweetly to the older man.

He reached out and ruffled my shoulder length blonde hair, something everyone does to me and I can't stand it, he giving me a cherry lollipop. Just like a little kid I excitedly took it from him and stuck it in my mouth. "Don't worry about it!" he said while smiling down at me. I shifted my blue eyes in the direction we were heading; obviously annoyed by the fact I never can win with him.

Continuing on our way I put my hands behind my head and sigh of boredom, _seriously how much longer is this going to take?_

Jushiro looked down at me and smiled "Are you scared?" he asked me.

"Hu~h?" I stopped for a moment to look up at him in confusion.

"Coming through the gate for your first time it must me really scary and creepy to you, right?"

"What are you talking about Uncle? There's nothing here to be scared of" I stated bluntly "Besides…" I continued "I think it's pretty cool!" I smiled up at the confused man.

"B-bu-but you're terrified of scary movies! So I thought…"

"That's completely different, Uncle Jyuushiro, scary movies are fake so that's why I don't like them!" I paused for a moment to think of the right way to say it, "Real life things are more…exciting than scary, don't cha think?"

He looked at me dumbfounded, "You are one strange child."

I giggled at that statement, "You're not the first to say that!" I smiled at the man as we continued on our way. Soon there was a noticeable light at the end of the tunnel signaling our arrival to Sole Society.

As we passed through the gate we were welcomed by some other soul reapers "Welcome back Captain!" They say bowing to my uncle and giving me a strange look.

I tilted my head a little at them "What?"

I hear Jushiro laughing next to me "Don't worry about it Ashley!" he said ruffling my hair again, and I stick the lollipop in my mouth angrily. "They probably think you're dressed weirdly!" I look down at my clothing, _what's wrong with it?_ I wore a military patterned mini skirt, a tight black tank top hugging my forming curves of a young teen and an already b cup chest, I had a black choker on with matching fingerless gloves and a pair of black knee high heelless boots. "But, it's most likely because you're European." He said smiling down on me.

"No I'm American. I have a European background but I wasn't born there so I'm not European. That's how things work in our world."

"Is that so?" …_Somehow I feel he's not listening to me…_

"Hey Ukitake!" I heard someone yell from the right of us.

"Oh hello Kyouraku" Jushiro replied. "Ashley, this is Shunsui Kyouraku he's Captain of the 8th division of the Gotei 13 guards." I say hi giving him a small smile since I'm usually shy meeting new people.

"Oh, so you're Ashley I've heard a lot about you kid." He said ruffling my hair just like Jushiro.

"Humph, I'm not a kid I'm 13!" I said puffing out my cheeks.

He gave a deep laugh "Whatever you say kid!"

"Uncle can we go already?! He keeps teasing me!" he just gave me a nervous laugh as we started walking again with Captain Kyouraku fallowing us. "Does he have to come?" I ask annoyed at the older man now walking on my right hand side with Jushiro on my left.

"Of course I do since I'm his best friend!" Kyouraku said in a baby voice.

"…I'm not two…" I stated bluntly giving him the stink eye. The two men let out deep throaty laughs for whatever reason I don't know. I puffed out my cheeks in frustration again "Hmph, mean-e!"

I sat there swinging my legs that were dangling from the high chair I was in, my arms resting on the table and my head on top of my arms, staring, or al least trying to stare at the man hidden behind a mound of paperwork. "Are you sure you don't want my help?" I asked.

A laugh came from the mound of papers, "Yea Ash, you can't read or write in Japanese so you wont be of much help."

A slight blush played at my cheeks "Oh yeah sorry." It was silent for a few moments, "all this paperwork is my fault huh?" I asked him. He just gave me a confused look, "I mean because you had to come get me and taken me in all this work piled up because of it!" I said cutting him off from what he was going to say.

"Come on!" Jushiro said while picking up a stack of papers heading for the door while I had a really confused look on my face while my blue eyes followed his retreating form. "These papers are done so why don't we take the chance to get a little fresh air!" He smiled back at me.

"Okay!" I exclaimed hopping off the chair.

Feeling the warm sun shine onto my skin I happily hum a random melody exaggerating my arm swings as we walked through the streets. "You know uncle I've been here a while now and all I've really seen is your division barracks and Captain Kyouraku's, why's that?"

"Hmm, u can go out on your own if you want to look around" Jushiro answered simply.

"Are you kidding me? I'd get lost!" I exclaimed while he laughed at my childish behavior.

"Ah looks like were here!" He exclaimed excitedly. I stopped, unwrapped, and shoved a blueberry lollipop into my mouth and looking up at the big building in front of me.

"Where are we?" I asked tilting my head to the side taking in the design of the building.

"This is where the Captain Commander is" he smiled down at me.

"You mean the old guy that runs this place you told me about?" I state broadly putting my hands behind my head, fingers tangled in my two low pig tails.

"Ashley!"

"Wha~t?"

"Don't talk about the Commander like that!"

I looked at the retreating man before me "What'd I do?" I mumbled now slouched with my arms dangling at my side, and scurried to catch up.

Standing slightly behind my uncle, letting my nervous side, when meeting new people, get the better of me, I stared up towards the old man the sat behind the huge desk in the middle of an enormous room.

"You must be Ashley"

"y-yes sir" I replied in an almost whisper grabbing hold of Jushiro's haori averting my eyes to the floor out of habit.

"I knew your Father," the Captain Commander said out of no where, "he was a good man."

I look back up to see him looking at me now, up till now it seemed as though he was avoiding a gaze between the two of us. "Yeah" I finally answer after a wile and let go of my uncles' haori feeling a little more at ease. "Thank you" I avert my gaze again not liking the awkward moment.

"Since you're here take these documents to the second division Captain?" the Captain Commander told Jushiro before we left the room.

"Yes sir!" he replied while bowing to the man and leaving with me trotting behind him. Before the doors closed I took one last look at the old man and see him staring intensely as me, _why…why does everyone here look at me so strangely for?... I'm not that weird looking am I?!_

"Hey Uncle?"

"Yes what is it?" the tall man looked down at me smiling with his eyes closed.

"Hmm, never mind it's nothing…" I replied in a monotone and Jushiro stopped suddenly. I look up at him to see him with a very serious look on his face and I let out a big sigh. "I mean it it's nothing…" he's still giving that 'tell me this instant young lady!' look. "Fine! I was just gunna ask ya why these guys are dressed as ninjas when you're soul reapers! Geez!" with that said everyone in the hallway stops and stares at me with a weird look and my arms drop from over my chest to behind my back with my head hanging in embarrassment. Without thinking I ran off into a random direction wanting to get away from those people who heard me.

I stopped running once I got to a random spot and noticed that I was completely lost …. _Why is every building in this place so huge?! I'm always getting lost!_ I let out a sigh and started to walk again running my hand along the rail on the outer part of the building "such a beautiful building though" I smiled to myself taking in the antique feel of the place.

_Hmm, what's that?_ I hear noise coming from a room just ahead of me. I peek around the corner to see what was going on and find some men or women, cant tell because of the clothing, training and decided to watch them for a while thinking that my Uncle will find me eventually if I stay in one spot.

"Ahhhh!" I scream jumping to the side and onto my butt, glad that I decided to wear pants today by the way, dodging the shuriken that came flying my way. "w-what was that for?!" I yelled at the guy who threw the shuriken at me.

"You're trespassing little girl" he said sternly while taking out some kunai getting ready to attack again.

"What's going on here?!" I hear a woman's voice and turn to see a very short and skinny woman with long black hair in two low ponytails and wearing the usual soul reaper uniform with a captain's haori over top.

"Captain!" I saw everyone in the room go down on one knee and bow in front of her. _Hmm, either she's really strong or their all just whipped! Ha-ha! _I laughed inwardly at my own joke. _Nice to finally see a powerful woman even if she is tiny._ "We found her spying on us so we took action!"

I heard a sly laugh from around the corner and recognized it immediately "Sorry Captain Soi Fong" I see the man come around the corner scratching his head awkwardly, "I should have kept a better eye on her."

"Uncle…" I say plainly at his statement "it's partly your fault" I mumble to myself.

"So this is her huh?" Captain Soi Fong says and looks down at me, though it feels as if she's glaring daggers into me.

"Um, hi…" I give an awkward smile and a small wave of my hand. She just raised an eyebrow at me and then an awkward silence followed until I spoke up again. "Miss. Soi Fong?"

"mmm, what is it?" She said while watching her subordinates train.

"If it's okay with you, I was wondering if I could come back here and watch them practice again?" She turned to look at me with a compelling gaze. "It's just that I've always been into martial arts is all" I say shying away turning my gaze towards the ground underneath me.

Unknowing to me she turned giving a warming smile saying "Wouldn't you rather learn than watch?"

That snapped me back with surprise, "Really?!" I said while giving a really goofy grin while Captain Soi Fong just kept smiling down at me and gave me a nod. That just made me smile wider as I leaped from my feet and wrapping my arms around her in a big hug and knocking her over all the while yelling, "Thank you so much!"


	2. Chapter 2

I sat there with my head tilted to the side in confusion. "…I don't get it…" and with that simple but blatantly honest comment she seemed to just explode.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SHOW YOU UNTIL YOU GET IT?!" Captain Soi Fong yelled at me angrily.

"It's not my fault! You move too fast so I can barely see what you're doing!" I argued back as sparks flew from our glaring eyes at one another.

"Now, now you two-" Jushiro whom was a simple spectator until now was cut off.

"You stay out of this!" the two of us yelled in unison while he just smiled at us continuing our useless argument…

"Get it now?" Captain Soi Fong asked me sounding really annoyed from trying to teach me simple combat moves, though in my defense it's her fault for moving so fast.

"Y-yeah, I'm pretty sure I do." I say a little more confident in myself this time around.

"Good" she says turns walking away from me, "now," she stops about fifteen feet away from me, "Let's see you do it!" She yells charging at me.

"W-what?! Wait!" I scream in surprise as she charges at me.

I had no time to react to her attack and went flying when her punch landed and I hit the wall on the far side of the room, "oww," I groaned, "that really hurt." I slowly rose from my sprawled out form onto my feet rubbing my sore left arm.

"You're lucky I wasn't being serious or you would be dead by now." Soi Fong said glaring down at me with her arms folded over her chest.

I puffed out my cheeks and frond at the woman standing above me, "humph, you could have waited until I was ready" I grumbled.

"Your enemy won't let you get ready in a real battle so neither will I!"

"What enemy?! I'm just a kid!" I retort standing up straight glaring at her.

"Enough talking we're starting again!"

I let out a heavy sigh, "whatever." And we commenced with my training…

I lie down next to the white haired man already asleep in the futon before me he was recovering from one of his sickness spells and I wanted to stay by him until he awoke once again. I was tired myself from all the work from earlier that day with my training with Captain Soi Fong. I cuddle up next to my uncle slightly being careful not to disturb him from his slumber and wanting sleep to overtake me too, _please don't leave me too,_ a tear rolled down my cheek as I drifted off into a dreamless sleep…

It's been a couple of months now since I've come to live with Jyuushiro in Soul Society and my training with Captain Soi Fong has been going smoothly as well. I even lost a little bit a weight because of it, I'm not exactly really skink but I'm not really fat either I guess just a little chubbier, not to mention taller, than most teens my age but it didn't really bother me I'm fine the way I am.

At the moment it's in the middle of spring and the cherry blossoms are in full bloom and I'm enjoying every minute of it! This is the part of coming to live with my Uncle that I looked forward to the most I've always wanted to come to Japan and see them and I finally have its better than I imagined.

Everyone is busy with work so I'm outside by myself sitting in a Sakura tree enjoying the sunshine and the much needed break from training. I look to the bright blue sky above me and smile a sad smile, "I wish you all could see this too." I stray tear runs down my cheek, _but hey maybe you do_.

I shift from my previous position to a new one where my back was against the trunk of the tree and my legs were no longer dangling from the tree branch but pulled to where I was slightly sitting on them and the rest were to the left of me. I pull the guitar I was holding out of its case and get ready to play it, this belonged to my older brother who got it from my dad and I've been teaching myself for a while now though I'm still not very good at it. I start out with a simple melody and hum along with it until I came to a spot that I still haven't learned how to play. I laugh slightly, "I really am no good compared to you big brother…" I put the guitar back in its case and set it on my lap. "I really wish I asked you to teach me how to play the guitar rather than skateboarding." I laugh some more closing my eyes as tears start streaming now my face. I wipe them away and look down at my hands when I gain my composure back, "…I really wish…" _that I didn't run off that night then I would be with you all right now._ I cry some more glad that there wasn't anyone around to see me.

I took in a shaky breath and leaned back against the trunk of the tree once again just letting the tears fall freely as I tilted my head towards the sky once again opening my mouth and letting the words flow out;

"I'll Always Remember You

Carry your Dreams Until They Come True

Each Breath That I Take

Each Moment Away

I'll Always Remember You

Everywhere I walk I see your Shadow

And When I Close My Eyes I See your Face

Every Song I Sing I Hear Your Melody

Because Not A Moment That Goes By

When You're Not On My Mind

You Will Always Be My Hero

Never Scared, and Braver Then Us All

Guiding Light For Me To Follow

Always Showing Me The Way

Right Beside Me Every Day

I'll Always Remember You

Carry your Dreams Until They Come True

Each Breath That I Take

Each Moment Away

I'll Always Remember You"

I open my eyes smiling a little remembering all the happy moments from my past with my family.

"Oh, Oh yeah I'll Remember (I'll Remember)

Hey, yea, yea, yea, yea (I'll Remember)

Oh, All The Sacrifice You Made

And All The Gifts You Gave

I'll Always Remember You

Carry your Dreams Until They Come True

Each Breath That I Take

Each Moment Away

I'll Always Remember You (You, You)

I'll Always Remember You

I'll Carry Your Dreams Until They Come True

Each Breath That I Take

Each Moment Away

I'll Always Remember

Always Remember

I'll Always Remember You"

I steady my breathing from the singing smiling to myself, _forever and always I'll never forget any of you._ I pick up the guitar and sling it over my shoulder standing up on the branch stretching my arms out wide taking in the warmth of the sun. _My family, my big, annoying, stupid family all of you will forever be in my heart!_

"Ashley!" I hear a voice call from below the tree. I smiled seeing who it was, "hey there kid wanna get an ice cream?" the third seat of my uncles squad, Kiyone Kotetsu, asked me.

"Okay!" I give her a big toothy green when I jump down next to her.

"By the way, Ash, I was wondering…" she started as we were walking to the ice cream shop that was quite a few blocks away. "…how tall are you?"

I lift up an eyebrow at her in confusion, "I don't know 5 foot 5 I think." She looked at me bewildered, "I'm about 170 cm." I laugh a little at her, _forgot that only America does everything in feet and inches._

"Eh, no way! You're so tall yet still so young!" she looks up at me with sparkling eyes.

"Yeah and I wish I wasn't." I look down at her, "It runs in my family so I'm probably going to get even taller." I let out a heavy sigh; _I really wish I wasn't so tall it's depressing._

"You shouldn't be depressed about your height you should embrace it!" she pumps her fist up in the air for exaggeration. "Besides I know someone who's even taller than you are so don't be so down about it!" she gives me a big warm smile while I give a small one in response. "Come on now," she grabs my arm and starts pulling me, "let's go get some ice cream~!" she sang. Somehow it feels as if she just wanted an excuse to get herself some ice cream…

Hmm, this is actually really good. I thought to myself as I tried the green tea ice cream for the very first time.

"That's a very cute kimono you have on, did the Captain buy it for you?"

"Oh, uh, yeah." I say a bit timidly.

"I knew it only our Captain could pick out something so cute for his little niece.

"Thanks but…" I look down at the light pink fabric that had a design of a Sakura tree and its leaves flying all over the fabric with a white obi with a silver embroidered design on it. I didn't wear the sandals with it though considering it was hard enough to just walk in the kimono so I went bare foot and had my hair tied half back with a pink hair clip and Sakura flower earrings in to match it, "I don't really like pink." I give her an awkward smile as he mouth hung open, I'd rather it be black or red.

She let out a gasp, "Why it looks so good on you?"

"I don't know probably because my Mom used to force me to wear it all that time." I laugh sadly at the memories of my Mom.

"Sorry I caused you think about them again, huh?" she said sounding a little depressed.

"It's alright really it doesn't bother me." I lied.

"Really?"

"Mhmm" I smiled at her, "Besides it's not like I want to completely forget them, ya know?"

"Oh your right!" she perked up but then her face dropped again, "I'm sorry I never thought about it that way before."

"It's okay it's not your fault considering most people don't think about it that way." I smiled to her, though in truth I don't remember much about them. I jump out of my seat and onto the dirt path below us, "C'mon it's getting late so we should head back!" I smile over to her and she smiled back.

"Only if you sing a song along the way!" she chimed stepping next to me. I looked at her suspiciously and she scratched the back of her neck and laughed nervously, "I kinda hear you earlier, sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop you just have such a pretty voice!" I blushed slightly with a small smile, no one's ever told me that before, "Though I have no clue what you were saying!"

I giggled at her expression, "Well I didn't think anyone was listening so I didn't bother singing a Japanese song!" nor do I know all that many, "Ok, I do know one… but you have to promise you won't cry!" I say sternly looking at her while she looked confused but nodded anyways. I start walking and take in a breath,

"Ame ni nureta hoho wa

Namida no nino ga shita

Yasashii manazashi no

Tabibito

Shizuka ni bibiiteru

Natsukashii ongaku

Omoidasenai kioku

Samayou

Yume wa tobitatsu no chiisana tsubasa de

Omoi no kienai basho made futari de

Tooi umi wo sora wo koete

Kurai yoru no naka de

Watashi wo terashiteru

Yasashii manazashi no

Anata no

Aitai…"

As I finished I stopped walking and looked over to her seeing her hands clenched close to her face and tears ready to spill out at any moment. "You promised!" I yelled as she wailed and gave me a giant hug almost knocking me over in the process, _I knew I should have sang something else,_ I let out a sigh and smiled, _oh well at least I'm not the one crying,_ I though while patting the older woman on the back…

"IT'S COO-OOOLD!" I say with my teeth chattering, hands shaking gripping the wooden sword as the snowflakes fall around me. "Why can't we practice in a dojo or something?!" I whined to Jyuushiro who stood across from me in his fighting stance, the cold not affecting him in the least bit.

"Because you need to lean discipline and the best way to practice is in the snow!" He retorted "Besides you're the one that wanted me to teach you how to use a sword."

"I never would of asked you if I knew I'd have to do this." I mumbled to myself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" I gripped my sword tighter and leaped towards the man ahead of me.

It's been eighteen months since I first arrived in Sole Society and been staying with Uncle Jyuushiro in the 13th division captains headquarters with him. You've probably figure out by now that I'm in fact a living human yet I'm living in Sole Society without a problem, very peculiar don't you think? In fact I still don't know the answer to why that is it probably has something to do with the fact that everyone in my family has always been very spiritually aware.

I may not know much about myself or any of this for that matter but I plan on finding everything out about what happened to my family I don't care what I have to do I'll never forgive the person who took everything away from me.

"Hi-yah!" Mine and Jushiro's training swords clash with a loud smacking sound. "AH!" I fell onto my butt in the cold wet snow. Slowly dragging myself to my feel while glaring I charge again at the man before me. "YAH!"

"Ashley, why don't we take a break we've been at this all day?" He asked holding me back easily only using one hand.

_I'll make sure I get stronger than anyone here in Sole Society that way I know for sure that I'll be able to win any battle. _

"NO, NOT YET!"

_I have to get stronger. _

I fall back once again, cold sweat dripping down my face.

_I will get stronger! I'll find out everything about my family. _

I struggled to even get back on my knees. Not knowing the sad look that Jushiro was giving me at that time.

_I'll find the one that killed my family. _

Breathing heavily I shakily get back to my feet unaware of the crowd that has gathered the two of us.

_And destroy him for what he destroyed of mine! _

I let out another scream a charge one last time.

_Even If It Kills Me In The Process!_

Our wooden sword clash for the last time sending peaces in every direction, breathing heavily I collapse to the floor with the now broken wooden sword still tightly griped in my blood dripping, splintered hands tainting the pure white snow. Now gripping the freezing snow in my bloodied hands I unconsciously hang my head down letting my hair cover my eyes. Salty tears flow down my warm cheeks onto the snow.

"I'M GUNNA KILL 'IM!" I scream out to no one in particular.

Sobs filling the soundless sky, "kill, *sniff, sniff* gunna" I bring my hands to my face and start rubbing at my eyes, "I'll *sniff* kill 'im." Startled at the hand suddenly on my shoulder I look up at who it belonged to and not to my surprise "U-u-uncle j-ju-Jushiro" I cried.

He gave me simple yet soft smile "Keep pressing on."

Unable to hold it back any longer I let out a blood hurtling scream and lunged into his arms wrapping mine around his back. Unable to hold back the tears I once thought were all dried up. Unable to cry at my family's funeral, I never cried a single tear that day or since then. Covering up all my pains with laughs and smiles why was I crying now of all times? What has changed? What has changed to make me let my weak side show that I never would let my own family see? It didn't matter anymore at this moment all that mattered was that those feelings were there. Those feelings are what I will keep in mind till the very end. Until I accomplish my goal. I have this one lifetime to take back of those five that were lost.

~ Jyuushiro Ukitake~

Jushiro stares in surprise at the shattered sword in his hands before a smile forms on his pale lips. He slowly bends down and picks up the crying girl before him bridal style, smiling down at her still crying form in his chest walking back to the room they shared for a rest as she slowly start to fall asleep from crying so much. "Interesting kid indeed" the white haired man hears from the door was while covering up the girls shivering body.

"Kyouraku" Jushiro looked over at her sleeping form once again smiling down "yes indeed. She's got some power in her that she herself has yet to realize." He paused for a moment to let out a much needed sigh of exhaustion, not from the training session, "Now I know why her parents pressed so much for her to come here if anything were to happen to them."

"Got your hands full with this one buddy" Kyouraku says bluntly to his friend. "But still she'll be really amazing if she's already able to do all that unconsciously."

"Yes but I wonder if she will be able to get her revenge…" he smoothed a hand over the sleeping girls' hair, "I think she has a too kind of a heart to do so." Jyuushiro smiled down one last time before the two men left the young girl to rest.


End file.
